King Cake, Condoms and Siddhartha

I like to eat. I like people who eat. Perhaps it’s all wrapped up in Southern Culture, sharing food with others. Eating with others seems to be the way to go, a way to facilitate being the social animals that we are. I found some King Cakes (at least Kroger’s version of these tasty cakes) and brought them to class this past Tuesday. I was looking forward to learning whoever would find the hidden baby Jesus in their slice; it’s supposed to be a good luck thing. Plastered on the carton they came in were warnings not to eat the plastic ornamentation (beads and baby Jesus) as they could cause choking and asphyxiation. Well, where’s the fun in that? Baby Jesus perched out for the entire world to see.  Well the cake was a hit, I was worried that I’d be taking some home, but I forgot how hungry college students are, and they got in line during our break and sliced those cakes up. And some were not shy in slicing large portions of this up…little piggies. I was happy that this went over well.

Since this week also commemorated Valentine’s Day, I also brought a large selection of condoms and lube for the class. Share the love I say, and leave the rest behind.  I always try and observe how this is received. Several in the class identify as being rather socially conservative, and the disapproving looks were noted. I’m used to this, doesn’t bother me a bit. What concerned me was would these goody goodies be a barrier to those who might want some prophylactic supplies? Shaming always seems to prevent people from doing things, and I tried to listen in on some of the conversations, but couldn't get a clear indication. One male in the class came and looked through the supplies; all other takers and lookers were female. From my observations during health fairs and HIV related events, this is the way things go. Men NEVER like to be seen reaching for supplies, however, as was in the case of my class, women are not shy about it at all. So what’s going on here? Why are men reluctant to procure these items? Are we ashamed that we are having sex? Or that we just don’t want to wrap it up? Given that we cannot get pregnant, does that take away the need for caution? Or could this be systemic in that young men do not receive specialized medical care in regards to sexual health. Women go for checkups related to sexual health and contraception; there is nothing similar that I know of for men. I just don’t know. I like it that women are so forthcoming, they clearly see the benefits of protection whether in relation to unwanted pregnancy or STI prevention. Women are left “holding the bag” if pregnancy results from intimate coupling, men can just walk away. A couple of students came back 2 or more times to stuff condoms and lube into their pockets. This makes me smile.  One student hung around after class so she could go through the supplies without other students around. There is a need for this, I now have an assortment of supplies in my office, student workers know they are there and I hope they will avail themselves to these items.

I’ve just finished reading Siddartha, by Hermann Hesse. I did so at the suggestion of a good friend, and now I am wondering why I had never read this before? How could I have not read this classic before now? Isn’t this on high school reading lists? Perhaps not on mine way back in the 80’s. To be honest, I cannot remember anything I read in high school except Great Expectations and portions of Canterbury Tales. Fine selections in and of themselves, but rather euro and religio centric, that is, all these readings did was reinforce my own cultural heritage. What a beautiful piece of literature Siddhartha is, a true classic.  An easy read and a primer of sorts to the worldviews of both Vedic Dharma and Buddhism. So many good things I could say about this book. I certainly identified with the following statement where Siddhartha is speaking to his friend Govinda “Certain people, Govinda must change a lot, must wear all kinds of outfits. I am one of those dear friend.” They were not talking about clothing; this was in reference to changes in life. I too am one of those persons. Truth for me tends to be experiential, and the experience is key for me in understanding, in obtaining any sort of wisdom. It can’t be just academic or theoretical. I made a connection when reading on the whole topic of the river. Understanding this as a metaphor is important in the book, and it’s one of those images that people can relate to, and one that certainly sticks out for me. Which led me to thinking about Sting and his song, All this Time. I know the song depicts the death of his father, but I found some other meaning related to his use of the river…

And all this time
The river flowed
Endlessly,
To the sea

This is more than just a physical river, there’s a hint of spiritual things at work here. It blends beautifully with Hesse’s book and the imagery there. Come to think of it, other artists have done this as well.  For example, what about Billy Joel’s River of Dreams?

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
From the mountains of faith
To a river so deep
I must be looking for something
Something sacred I lost
But the river is wide
And it's too hard to cross

And even though I know the river is wide
I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore
And try to cross to the opposite side
So I can finally find out what I've been looking for

Rivers are important in a religious sense as well, the river Jordan and Styx for example. I could go on and on about this, but I think I’ve made my point here. Let me say again, this book is a gem and worth the time to read.

The book gives me more reason to pause and think about life and of course, my life in particular. The big questions arise (they always do…this never goes away). In my journey from a worldview based upon believing in a personal transcendent Being (somehow One who retains the emotional, personality, and moral components of the very creatures who write about It) to one where no One’s at home, the topic of Who Am I is a constant item for thought. Here’s what I understand and struggle with on various levels from what I am now exploring as truth.

The self that we know does not actually exist as a fixed entity. We are interconnected with everyone and everything else in the universe. The more we persist in identifying ourselves as separate beings, the more we delude ourselves and the more we invite suffering into our lives.  The self that we so strongly identify with is a bundle of aggregates that constantly shift, that is, these aggregates are not static in any sense.  We experience those things that are common to all humanity and our experiences reflect humanity and the universe. In the same fashion we are experienced and reflected by those around us and also the universe. This, at least to me, is a lot to take in and process.

“There is no self residing in body and mind, but the cooperation of the conformation produces what other would call a person.” ~ Buddha

So then, there is a path for us to walk on, there is walking to be done, but no traveler.  There are deeds to be done, but no doer.  There is the blowing of air, but no wind – God behind it that does the blowing.

So perhaps, I am not what I think I am.