Beware the Pure Spirit, Let the Flesh Instruct the Mind

Can I take just a minute and complain?  I need to vent and release for just a moment. I hate this, but my internal and external worlds are having some difficulty. I want a reset button. Really, I want to reset and cope. But right now, at this moment I need to exorcise my thoughts and concerns. I feel guilty already, I KNOW others have it much worse than I, overall life is good. I admire those folks I know who go on day in and day out shouldering their own illnesses and nary a peep out of them. I want to be like them, I admire them, and I love them.  I feel like I'm about to explode. Now that being said, a moment of pure self indulgent whining: I'm tired of this goddamn mystery illness I'm tired of being so exhausted by the time I come home from work that I cannot do anything else but rest I'm tired of having blood taken repeatedly and STILL not having a clue of what's going on other than "we're still looking for a reason for your hemoglobin/blood loss...

Just something I kept track of when I went on my recent trip to WV. The following distances are from my home here in JC: To I26 - 3.2 miles To I81 - 14.8 miles To the Virginia state border - 33.2 miles To Abingdon - 48.7 miles To Chilhowie - 66.0 miles To Wytheville - 105.2 miles To the West Virginia state border - 136.0 miles To Princeton - 144.1 miles To Beckley - 180.4 miles To Oak Hill - 197.5 miles To Fayetteville - 202.4 miles 

I’ve had a major revelation this week. I’ve not felt well for about two months now. Nothing really specific at first, but had been feeling run down and no energy whatsoever. Fatigued is a better word to use here. I’ve been extremely fatigued.  Sleeping a lot and still not feeling rested, and again…no energy.  This has carried on for some time and then after the latter part of May other things started presenting: almost constant dizziness, shortness of breath, and an inability to concentrate. Coupled with the constant fatigue most of this mimicked my symptoms that occurred before I was diagnosed as having type II diabetes. I had had some wild sugar spikes and so I surmised that my diabetes was digging in deeper and was moving to a new level. My fear was that I was on my way to daily insulin shots. I have an irrational fear of needles. I also have memories of my paternal grandfather on daily insulin. Something I was not looking forward to. So, thinking that my blood sugar leve...