Amendments to the Decalogue

I had my class do a creative exercise last week, as we had been talking extensively about the Jewish Decalogue, I wanted them to come up with 10 Commandments of their own. They could not do a rehashing of the Jewish law, and it was open to any and all things. Here are some of the better ones that they crafted, and one that I wish I could have shared with the class because I found it extremely funny and naughty:

—  Political beliefs shall be kept to thyself (I’m guilty of not doing this, but it has gone crazy lately)

—  Your life writes a story. Decide what story you want it to tell.

—  Do not go to the grocery store with your huge buggy and spend 15 minutes trying to figure out which can of soup to get while blocking anyone else from passing.

—  You must put 5% of every paycheck into a saving account. You can access your savings when you turn 65.

—  Don’t be afraid to be who you truly are

—  Thou shall not chew with your mouth open (no one wants to hear or see that)

—  Thou shalt not run in flip flops 

—  Thou shall not meet people for a study group and copy answers from them.

—  All men MUST shut the toilet lid when done with their business

—  Chew on your words and see how they taste before you say them; if they are bitter, keep them to yourself.

—  Thou shalt not browse cuteboyswithcats.com

—  Own a dog

—  Thou shalt not text drunk. (I have been guilty a time or two)

—  The United States take a lesson from Colorado and Washington state and   legalize it.

—  Don’t surround yourself with negative people. It brings you down and brings out the negativity in yourself. As Sweet Brown says, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

—  Thou shalt not post every single little detail and feelings of your life on twitter or facebook

—  Do not have sex with everyone you know.

—  Do not ask anyone for gum, it is 25 cents, buy your own

—  Thou shall never wear socks with flats

—  Protect the earth and all living beast of the earth: future generations will have gratitude for you if you do.

—  Don’t be afraid to question things in life.  Challenge things you are unsure about.  Take time to explore yourself and your spirituality.

And the one that I thought was the funniest but could not share with the entire class:

·         Thou shalt not use teeth during oral sex.