Can I take just a minute and complain? I need to vent and release for just a moment. I hate this, but my internal and external worlds are having some difficulty. I want a reset button. Really, I want to reset and cope. But right now, at this moment I need to exorcise my thoughts and concerns. I feel guilty already, I KNOW others have it much worse than I, overall life is good. I admire those folks I know who go on day in and day out shouldering their own illnesses and nary a peep out of them. I want to be like them, I admire them, and I love them. I feel like I'm about to explode. Now that being said, a moment of pure self indulgent whining: I'm tired of this goddamn mystery illness I'm tired of being so exhausted by the time I come home from work that I cannot do anything else but rest I'm tired of having blood taken repeatedly and STILL not having a clue of what's going on other than "we're still looking for a reason for your hemoglobin/blood loss...